2. This is an example of a relationship in which the people, feeling strongly attracted to each other online, exchange pictures, phone calls and finally meet. This is one end of a spectrum, the other end of which would be people who fall in love online but maintain their love relationship entirely online, only relating through text. What might be the differences in "love" for this hypothetical couple as opposed to the case study example?
I am very opposed to the idea of people falling in love only through texts and no IPR. To defend my feelings, I thought this quote was perfect: "Text relationships tend to result in what's called the online disinhibition effect. Because they can't be seen or heard, people may open up and say things that they normally wouldn't say in-person. Self-disclosure and intimacy may be accelerated. Some even argue that a person's true self is more likely to appear online than in-person, and surely that must enhance one's relationships" (Suler). I could not disagree more with those who believe that a person's true self if more likely to appear online than in-person. A person can be whatever they want online or through texts, but their real person comes out when they can't pretend anymore. When they are part of an IPR, there is no way they can hide and if they do try and make up who they really are, it will only last so long before it becomes obvious that the person is lying. In the case study, the two finally meet and this is the ultimate test to see if the couple are truly in love. While they sent each other picture and were able to communicate beautifully with each other through cyberspace, the relationship cannot be real until they are able to interact "in-person" with each other.
You raise a lot of important concepts here, John. In my own research, I've found evidence of the disinhibiting effect; people get closer much faster and disclose at a deeper level than is true for people who meet offline (although it varies from couple to couple). But I don't take this to mean that it is not "true love". It's really like the first phase in any relationship although accelerated. And most people who start a relationship online, if it matures in a way that is satisfactory to both, usually want to take it offline to see if can "really" work. As I've said to other people, the Internet mainly increases the pool of potential partners enormously and that, I think, may be it's most important contribution to romantic connections.
ReplyDeleteI like what you said here and that you mentioned the online disinhibition effect. I found an article from the ny times that talks about this as well.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/20/health/psychology/20essa.html?_r=1&ex=1172638800&en=ca608129732a5047&ei=5070&emc=eta1
One thing that they mentioned in the article that I really liked was using video instead of just text. We are in a technological advanced world now where I think it would be possible to send email and even online date using video. That way you could see a person's reaction and not get the wrong impression. It is the closest thing to actually being with someone and yet it is still over the internet. I don't think this should be the first step to an online relationship, but it may be an important step to take before meeting them in person.