Saturday, June 13, 2009
Alexis and Craig keeping in touch
I just read Dr. Bob's email and found it very interesting. I think this is a perfect example of why relationships through VR are fake, and it can not be said that a relationship is real until the two can prove this with an IPR. These two were crazy about each other and when they finally met they realized that it was not the same. It is much easier to satisfy your partner in the VR because you can easily adapt to their needs and pretend to be something you're not. It is much more difficult in real life to do this as you can only fake something for so long. I am not surprised to hear that the two keep in touch as they were both significant part of the other's lives, but I believe their communication will gradually decrease more and more.
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I agree. When you have someone in your life for so long, it is difficult to not keep in touch with that person because you remember the feelings that you had for that person. But after time, the feelings might be there but other feelings come and take its place so it's not that hard to lose touch.
ReplyDeleteI'm not so sure that's the lesson, John. If you think that relationships develop in stages, it certainly possible that Craig and Alexis started out with an idealized, eroticized feeling for each other but that over time as they got to know each other, as they each matured, as they met other people, the relationship changed. My guess is that this is true whether things start out online or not.
ReplyDeleteDr. Bob, you make a very valid point that I did not consider. You are correct that even when a relationship begins in real life, that it can simply vanish as this relationship did. I think with my bias about online relationships not being real, I only saw this as an example where a relationship started online and was crushed once the two spent time together in real life. My only counter argument would be that I think if these two started their relationship in real life, they would have arrived at their separation earlier as they would have found out sooner that they were not meant for each other. The internet allowed them to satisfy their partners easier and thus delayed the discovery that the significant other was not the perfect person as he or she was online. It is fair to disagree with me on this, but I truly this would have been the case.
ReplyDeleteJohn, I take your point. As I read this interview, Alexis idealizes Craig pretty much from the get-go, which is to say that she constructs in her mind and heart an image of a special kind of person, which in some sense Craig may be. But all human beings have defects or perhaps better there are parts of other people with whom you can have difficulty. You may be right that online interacting extends the time before "reality" sets in; while that may be true in this case, I think it's probably an interesting research question. Perhaps it's true for some relationships and not for others. It may also depend on the personalities of the individuals and their styles of relating to others (and perhaps also to how much experience they've had with other relationships; I don't think Alexis is all that experienced). I can think of lots of variables that might affect the degree of commitment and longevity of a relationship that starts online.
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